Adult Children Anonymous - Hong Kong

Starting February 2008, meetings are held every Monday evening from 19:00 until 20:00 (7 - 8 pm) at Ground Floor, 12 Borrett Road, Mid-Levels (across from Island School). Easily found by taxi (via Kennedy Road) or take green mini bus #9 (from City Hall).

E-mail Address: adultchildrenhk@yahoo.com

This page is a temporary page to store information about the Library resources of Adult Children Anonymous in Hong Kong.

Please note: This page was up-to-date as of January 2000. Almost all of these books are still available. Select from here, write it down, and then ask at the next Monday night meeting.

Items such as tapes and books may be borrowed from our library at our regular meetings.

To learn a little about what attracts people to our organisation, check out The Problem, The Solution, The 12 Steps, The 12 Promises, The 12 Traditions and The Serenity Prayer.

Book Library

Click on first letter of author's surname: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.
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ACA BOOK LIBRARY - JANUARY 2000

Book Title	Author	No.Copies

Laundry List, The	A, Tony	1
Growing in the Shadow: Children of Alcoholics	Ackerman, Robert I	1
Same House, Different Homes	Ackerman, Robert J	1
Silently Seduced	Adams, Kenneth M	1
One Day at a time in Al-Anon	Al-Anon	1
Al-Anon Alateen Service Manual	Al-Anon Family Groups Inc.	1
From Survival to Recovery: Growing up in an Alcoholic Home	Al-Anon Family Groups Inc.	1
Daddy, Please Say You're Sorry: One womans journey of healing.	Amber	1
Some Days: Notes from the Heart of Recovery	Author of Each Day A New Beginning	1	Index
I Never Told Anyone	Bass, Ellen & Thornton, Louise	1
Romantic Relationships in Recovery, The Thirteenth Step	Baudhuin, John S	1
Creating Choices	Bayle-Lissick, Sheila Bayle & Johns, Elise Marquam	2
Beyond Codependency and getting better all the time	Beattie, Melody	2
Codependent No More	Beattie, Melody	4
Language of Letting Go, The	Beattie, Melody	2
Lessons of Love	Beattie, Melody	1
Love is Never Enough	Beck, Aaron T	1
Don't Talk, Don't Feel, Don't Trust	Becker, Robert A	1
Manhood	Biddulph, Steve	1
Together we Heal	Birka, Szifra & Maye, Kathy	1
How to forgive yourself when you don't know how	Bishop, Jacqui & Grunte, Mary	1
Double Duty: Help for the adult child who is also sexually abused	Black, Claudia	1
It will Never Happen to Me	Black, Claudia	2
Iron John	Bly, Robert	missing
Spirituality & Recovery: A Guide to Positive Living	Booth, Father Leo	1
Bradshaw on: The Family	Bradshaw, John	1
Family Secrets	Bradshaw, John	1	Jul-99
Breaking Free	Branden, Nathaniel	1
Feeling Good : The New Mood Therapy	Burns, David D	1	Sep,98
Feeling Good Handbook, The	Burns, David D	1	Jan.99
Self Assertion for Women	Butler, Pamela E	1	Index
Recovery of your Inner Child	Capacchione, Lucia	2
Reflecting Pond, The	Caroles, Liane	1
Anger Workbook, The	Carter, Dr Les & Minirth, Dr Frank	missing
A Time to Heal Workbook	Cermak, Timmen L & Rutzky, Jacques	missing
Looking Good: Illusion & Reality	Clark, Ann D	1
First Things First	Covey, Stephen R	missing	Index
Allies in Healing	Davis, Laura	1
Secrets about Men every Woman should Know	de Angelis, Barbara	1
Making Changes	Dean, Amy E	1
A Woman in your own right	Dickson, Anne	1
Getting them Sober: Vol I	Drews, Toby Rice	1
Getting them Sober: Vol. II	Drews, Toby Rice	1
Your Erroneous Zones	Dyer, Dr. Wayne	missing	Index
Verbally Abusive Relationship, The	Evans, Patricia	1	Index
Adult Children of Abusive Parents	Farmer, Steven	missing
Toxic Parents	Forward, Dr Susan	1
Burnt: A Teenage Addicts Road to Recovery	Fraser, Craig & Sullivan, Deidre	1
An Adult Childs Guide to What's Normal	Friel, John & Friel, Linda	1
12 Steps for Adult Children, The	Friends in Recovery	missing
12 Steps, The: A Way Out	Friends in Recovery	1	Index
Outgrowing the Pain Together	Gil, Eliane	1
Emotional Intelligence	Goleman, Daniel	1
I'm Dancing as Fast as I can	Gordon, Barbara	1
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus	Gray, John	1
Letting Go and loving life	Greenwood, Carmel	1	Index
Self Esteem: Tools for Recovery	Hall & Cohen	1
Easy Does It	Hallinan, P K	C
I'm Thankful for Each Day	Hallinan, P K	C
My Very Best Rainy Days	Hallinan, P K	C
One Day at a Time	Hallinan, P K	C
Against The Wall - Man's Reality in a Codependent Culture	Hardy, Marshall & Hough, John	1
You Can Heal Your Life	Hay, Louise L	1
Smart Love	Hayes, Jody	1
Stairway to Serenity	Hazelden	1
Twenty Four Hours a Day	Hazelden	1
Listen to the Hunger	Hazelden	1
Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters	Hazelden Meditation Series	missing
Solving the Self Esteem Puzzle	Hazelton, Deborah M	1
Alcoholism - A Family Matter	Health Communications	1
Changing Legacies	Health Communications	1
Exploring the Road Less Travelled: a Study Guide	Howard, Alice & Walden	2	Index
Listen to Me	Jampolsky, G & Jampolsky, Lee	1
A Family is a Circle of People who Love You	Jasinek, Doris & Ryan, Pamela Bell	1
Falling in Fun Again	Jasinek, Doris & Ryan, Pamela Bell	1
Feel the Fear	Jeffers, Susan	1
Brothers & Sisters	Johnson, Barbara L	1
Intervention - how to help someone who doesn't want help	Johnson, Vernon E	missing	Index
Boundaries - Where you End and I Begin	Katherine, Ann	1
Credit, Cash and Codependency	Kaye, Yvonne	missing
Hug Therapy	Keating, Kathleen	1
Fire in the Belly: On being a Man	Keen, Sam	1
Broken Toys, Broken Dreams	Kellogg, Terry & Harrison, Marrel	1
12 Steps to Happiness, The	Klass, Joe	1
ACOA Syndrome, The	Kritsberg, Wayne	1
Healing Way, The: Adult Recovery from Childhood Sexual Abuse	Kunzman, Kristin A	1	Index
Love is a Hunger	Larsen, Earnie	1
Old Patterns, New Truths	Larsen, Earnie	1
Stage II Recovery: Life Beyond Addiction	Larsen, Earnie	2
Stage II Relationships: Love Beyond Addition	Larsen, Earnie	3
Flying Boy, The	Lee, John	1
Flying Boy, Vol.II	Lee, John	1
Dance of Anger, The	Lerner, Harriet Goldhor	1
Dance of Deception, The	Lerner, Harriet Goldhor	1
Dance of Intimacy, The	Lerner, Harriet Goldhor	1
Mother Dance, The: How Children Can Change Your Life	Lerner, Harriet PhD	1
Providing Care for Children of Alcoholics	Lewis, David C & Williams, Carol N	1	Index
Cat at the Door, The	Maltre, Ann D & Weldon, Louise B	C
Addiction & Grace	May, Gerald G	1
Children of Trauma	Maz, Jane Middleton	missing
Victims No More	McCabe, Thomas R	missing
A Workbook for Healing; ACOA	McConnell, Patty	1
Feeding the Empty Heart	Mcfarland, Barbara & Bauman, Tyeis Baker	1
12 Step Story Booklets - set of 12	Mckee, Mary M	1
Do It! Lets Get off our Butts	McWilliams, John-Roger & Peter	2
Life 101	McWilliams, Peter	1
Love 101	McWilliams, Peter	missing
You Cannot Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought	McWilliams, Peter	2
Facing Codependence	Mellody, Pia	1
Facing Love Addiction	Mellody, Pia	missing
Family Business	Melton, Carol S	1
Drama of Being a Child	Miller, Alice	1
Drama of the Gifted Child, The	Miller, Alice	missing
For your own good: Hidden cruelty in child rearing	Miller, Alice	1
Addictive Relationships - Reclaiming Your Boundaries	Miller, Joy	1
Following the Yellow Brick Road	Miller, Joy & Ripper, Marianne	1
Recovery Book, The	Mooney, Al J & Eisenberg, Arlene & Howard	1	Index
Addictive Personality, The - Roots, Rituals & Recovery	Nakken, Craig	1
Doormat Syndrome, The	Namka, Lynne	1
Getting Through the Day	Napier, Nancy J	1
You can be Free	Nicarthy, Ginny & Davidson, Sue	missing
Letters From Women Who Love Too Much	Norwood, Robin	1
Women Who Love Too Much	Norwood, Robin	1		Index
Dealing with Depression in 12 Step Recovery	O, Jack	1
12 Steps to Self Parenting	Oliver-Diaz, Philip & O'Gorman, Patricia A	1
Finding our Fathers	Osherson, Samuel	1	Index
If I'm so wonderful, why am I still single?	Page, Susan	1
Addiction to Love	Peabody, Susan	1
A World Awaiting to be Born	Peck, M Scott	1
Further along the Road Less Travelled	Peck, M Scott	1
In Search of Stones:A Pilgrimage of Faith, Reason & Discovery	Peck, M Scott	1
Meditations from the Road	Peck, M Scott	1
Road Less Travelled, The	Peck, M Scott	2
Dancing with Daddy	Petersen, Betsy	1
Self Parenting	Pollard, John K	1
Letting go of Shame	Potter-Efron, Ronald & Potter-Efron, Patricia	1
A Time to Begin	Presnell, Lewis F	1
Search for Serenity, The	Presnell, Lewis F	1	Index
Behind the Veil of Silence:Family Violence and Alcohol Abuse	Rainbolt, Beverly & Green, Michael	1
Messages from Anna	Rankin, Zoe	1
A Design for Growth	Ray, Veronica	1
Heal your Self Esteem: Recovery from Addictive Thinking	Robinson, Bryan	1
Work Addiction - Hidden Legacies of Adult Children	Robinson, Bryan E	1
Of Course you're Anxious	Rosellini, Gayle	1
Barriers to Intimacy	Rosellini, Gayle & Warden, Mark	2
Here comes the Sun: Dealing with Depression	Rosellini, Gayle & Warden, Mark	1
Of Course you're Angry	Rosellini, Gayle & Warden, Mark	missing
Triumph over Fear	Ross, Jerilyn	1
Breaking Free from Compulsive Eating	Roth, Geneen	1
Feeding the Hungry Heart	Roth, Geneen	1
Children in the Crossfire	Roy, Maria	1
12 Steps - A Spiritual Journey, The	RPI Publishing	missing	Index
Intimate Worlds	Scarf, Maggie	1
Co-Dependence, Misunderstood, Mistreated	Schaef, Anne Wilson	1
Escape from Intimacy	Schaef, Anne Wilson	missing
Meditations for women who do too much	Schaef, Anne Wilson	missing
Bereaved Parent, The	Schiff, Harriet Sarnoff	1
Back From Betrayal	Schneider, Jennifer P	2
How Can I Forgive	Sinton, Vera	1
Come out, Come out wherever you are	Sinykin, Sheri Cooper	C
Families & how to Survive them	Skynner, Robin & Cleese, John	1
Grandchildren of Alcoholics	Smith, Ann	1
Keeping Secrets	Somers, Suzanne	1
Codependency: How to break free and live your own life	Stafford, David & Hodgkinson, Liz	1
A Time to Grieve	Standacher, Carol	1
Lost in the Shuffle	Subby, Robert	1	Index
Inner Child Workbook, The	Taylor, Cathryn L	2
Addictive Thinking	Twerski, Abraham J	1	Index
Scream Louder	Utain, Masha & Oliver, Barbara	1	Index
Necessary Losses	Viorst, Judith	1
Are you missing the Boat to Recovery?	Vroom, George W	1	Index
12 Steps to Freedom	W, Kathleen	1
Healing a Broken Heart:12 Steps of Recovery for Adult Children	W, Kathleen	1
Growing up with my children:Reflections on less than perfect parents	Walker, Ellen	1
Another Chance:Hope & Health for the Alcoholic Family	Wegscheider, Sharon	1
Coupleship	Wegscheider-Cruse, Sharon	1
Miracle of Recovery, The	Wegscheider-Cruse, Sharon	missing
A Gift to myself	Whitfield, Charles L	missing
Boundaries and Relationships	Whitfield, Charles L	1
Copendence - Healing the Human Condition	Whitfield, Charles L	1
Healing the Child Within	Whitfield, Charles L	2
Becoming your own Parent	Wholey, Dennis	1
Fourth Step, The	Wills-Brandon, Carla	1
Healing your Sexual Self	Woititz, Janet G	1
Home away from Home: The Art of Self Sabotage	Woititz, Janet G	1
Life Skills for Adult Children	Woititz, Janet G	1
Marriage on the Rocks: Learning to live with yourself & an alcoholic	Woititz, Janet G	1
Relax, Recover	Wuerte, Patricia & May, Lucinda	1	Index
A Sceptics Guide to the 12 Steps	Z, Philip	1
Taking Back my Life	Ziegenmeyer, Nancy	1	Index



Key: 1 = number of copies in library, "missing" books may well have been returned, C = children's book

Tape Library

Click on first letter of author's surname: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.
Back to Top of page.

ACA TAPE LIBRARY - JANUARY 2000

Tape Title	Author	Master Copy	No of Copies

Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions	AA	1	1
Dear Dad	Andersen, Louie	0	2	Back to Index
Beyond Codependency	Beattie, Melody	0	missing
Codependent No More	Beattie, Melody	0	missing
To Heal Again	Berkus, Rusty	1	1
Don't Talk, Don't Feel, Don't Trust	Black, Claudia	1	1
It Will Never Happen to Me	Black, Claudia	1	2
Bradshaw - The Family	Bradshaw, John	1	1	Back to Index
Meditation	Cayce, Edgar	1	0	Back to Index
Food for Thought	Hazelden	1	1
Making Peace with the Past	Hazelden	1	missing	Back to Index
Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families	Larsen, Earnie	1	0
Days of Healing, Days of Joy	Larsen, Earnie	1	3
Finding Emotional Balance	Larsen, Earnie	1	1
For Teenagers of Alcoholics	Larsen, Earnie	1	1
The Secret of Successful Relationships	Larsen, Earnie	1	0
Stage II Recovery: Life Beyond Crisis	Larsen, Earnie	1	0
Spirituality: Faith Must Be Sought	Larsen, Earnie	1	1
The Dance of Anger	Lerner, Harriet	1	1
The Dance of Intimacy	Lerner, Harriet	1	missing
How to Meditate	LeShan, Lawrence	1	1	Back to Index
The Way We Feel Inside	Murphy, Mary Kotts	1	1	Back to Index
Women Who Love Too Much	Norwood, Robin	1	1	Back to Index
Claiming Your Higher Power	Recovery Music	0	missing
Sexuality/Symptoms of Codependents	Ruth F/Sondra S	1	2	Back to Index
Each Day a New Beginning	Sound Recovery	1	2
Self-Esteem	Sound Recovery	1	1	Back to Index
Healing the Child Within	Whitfield, Charles L	1	1	Back to Index

Key: 1 = number of copies in Library. "missing" tapes may well have been returned.

The Problem

Many of us found that we had several characteristics in common as a result of being brought up in an alcoholic or other dysfunctional households.

We had come to feel isolated, and uneasy with other people, especially authority figures. To protect ourselves, we became people pleasers, even though we lost our own identities in the process. All the same we would mistake any personal criticism as a threat.

We either became alcoholics ourselves, married them, or both. Failing that, we found other compulsive personalities, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick need for abandonment.

We lived live from the standpoint of victims. Having an over developed sense of responsibility, we preferred to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. We got guilt feelings when we trusted ourselves, giving in to others. We became reactors rather than actors, letting others take the initiative.

We were dependent personalities, terrified of abandonment, willing to do almost anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to be abandoned emotionally. We keep choosing insecure relationships because they matched our childhood relationship with alcoholic or dysfunctional parents.

These symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism or other dysfunction made us 'co-victims' , those who take on the characteristics of the disease without necessarily ever taking a drink. We learned to keep our feelings down as children and keep them buried as adults. As a result of this conditioning, we often confused love with pity, tending to love those we could rescue.

Even more self-defeating, we became addicted to excitement in all our affairs, preferring constant upset to workable solutions.

This is a description, not an indictment

The Solution

The solution is to become your own loving parent.

As ACA becomes a safe place for you, you will find freedom to express all the hurts and fears that you have keep inside and to free yourself from the shame and blame that are carry-overs from the past. You will become an adult who is imprisoned no longer by childhood reactions. You will recover the child within you, learning to love and accept yourself.

The healing begins when we risk moving out of isolation. Feelings and buried memories will return. By gradually releasing the burden of unexpressed grief, we slowly move out of the past. We learn to re-parent ourselves with gentleness, humour, love and respect.

This process allows us to see our biological parents as the instruments of our existence. Our actual parent is a Higher Power whom some of us choose to call God. Although we had alcoholic or dysfunctional parents, our Higher Power gave us the Twelve Steps of Recovery.

This is the action and work that heals us: we use the Steps; we use the meetings; we use the telephone; we use the e-mail. We share our experience, strength, and hope with each other. We learn to restructure our sick thinking one day at a time. When we release our parents from responsibility for our actions today, we become free to make healthful decisions as actors, not reactors. We progress from hurting, to healing, to helping. We awaken to a sense of wholeness we never knew was possible.

By attending these meetings on a regular basis, you will come to see parental alcoholism or family dysfunction for what it is: a disease that infected you as a child and continues to affect you as an adult. You will learn to keep the focus on yourself in the here and now. You will take responsibility for your own life and supply your own parenting.

You will not do this alone. Look around you and you will see others who know how you feel. We love and encourage you no matter what. We ask you accept us just as we accept you.

This is a spiritual program based on action coming from love. We are sure that as the love grows inside you, you will see beautiful changes in all your relationships, especially with your Higher Power, yourself, and your parents.

The Twelve Steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to our selves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry it out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others who still suffer, and to practise these principles in all
our affairs.

The Twelve Steps are reprinted and adapted from the original Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and are used with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

The Twelve Promises

The ACA Promises

1. We will discover our real idenities by loving and accepting ourselves.

2. Our self-esteem will increase as we give ourselves approval on a daily basis.

3. Fear of authority figures and the need to "people-please" will leave us.

4. Our ability to share intimacy will grow inside us.

5. As we face our abandonment issues, we will be attracted by strengths and become more tolerant of weaknesses.

6. We will enjoy feeling stable, peaceful, and financially secure.

7. We will learn how to play and have fun in our lives.

8. We will chose to love people who can love and be responsible for themselves.

9. Healthy boundaries and limits will become easier for us to set.

10. Fears of failures and success will leave us, as we intuitively make healthier choices.

11. With help from our ACA support group, we will slowly release our dysfunctional behaviours.

12. Gradually, with our Higher Power's help, we learn to expect the best and get it.

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not forget the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and out-look upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, pp 83-84

The Twelve Traditions

1. Our common welfare should come first, personal recovery depends on ACA unity.

2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as expressed in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants, they do not govern.

3. The only requirement for membership in ACA is a desire to recover from the effects of growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional family.

4. Each group is autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or ACA as a whole. We cooperate with all other 12-Step programs.

5. Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry its message to the adult child who still suffers.

6. An ACA group ought never endorse, finance or lend the ACA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.

7. Every ACA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

8. Adult Children Anonymous should remain forever non-professional, but our service centres may employ special workers.

9. ACA, as such, ought never be organized, but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

10. Adult Children Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the ACA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, T.V. and films.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

The Twelve Traditions are reprinted and adapted from the original Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous and are used with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

The Serenity prayer

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

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