Adult Children Anonymous - Hong Kong

Starting February 2008, meetings are held every Monday evening from 19:00 until 20:00 (7 - 8 pm) at Ground Floor, 12 Borrett Road, Mid-Levels (across from Island School).  Easily found by taxi (via Kennedy Road) or take green mini bus #9 (from City Hall).

E-mail Address: adultchildrenhk@yahoo.com

This page is a temporary page to store information about the Library resources of Adult Children Anonymous in Hong Kong.

Please note: This page was up-to-date as of January 2000.  Almost all of these books are still available. Select from here, write it down, and then ask at the next Monday night meeting.

Items such as tapes and books may be borrowed from our library at our regular meetings.

To learn a little about what attracts people to our organisation, check out The Problem, The Solution, The 12 Steps, The 12 Promises, The 12 Traditions and The Serenity Prayer.

Book Library

Click on first letter of author's surname: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.
Back to Top of page.

ACA BOOK LIBRARY - JANUARY 2000

Book Title

Author

No.Copies

Laundry List, The

A, Tony

1

Growing in the Shadow: Children of Alcoholics

Ackerman, Robert I

1

Same House, Different Homes

Ackerman, Robert J

1

Silently Seduced

Adams, Kenneth M

1

One Day at a time in Al-Anon

Al-Anon

1

Al-Anon Alateen Service Manual

Al-Anon Family Groups Inc.

1

From Survival to Recovery: Growing up in an Alcoholic Home

Al-Anon Family Groups Inc.

1

Daddy, Please Say You're Sorry: One womans journey of healing.

Amber

1

Some Days: Notes from the Heart of Recovery

Author of Each Day A New Beginning

1

Index

I Never Told Anyone

Bass, Ellen & Thornton, Louise

1

Romantic Relationships in Recovery, The Thirteenth Step

Baudhuin, John S

1

Creating Choices

Bayle-Lissick, Sheila Bayle & Johns, Elise Marquam

2

Beyond Codependency and getting better all the time

Beattie, Melody

2

Codependent No More

Beattie, Melody

4

Language of Letting Go, The

Beattie, Melody

2

Lessons of Love

Beattie, Melody

1

Love is Never Enough

Beck, Aaron T

1

Don't Talk, Don't Feel, Don't Trust

Becker, Robert A

1

Manhood

Biddulph, Steve

1

Together we Heal

Birka, Szifra & Maye, Kathy

1

How to forgive yourself when you don't know how

Bishop, Jacqui & Grunte, Mary

1

Double Duty: Help for the adult child who is also sexually abused

Black, Claudia

1

It will Never Happen to Me

Black, Claudia

2

Iron John

Bly, Robert

missing

Spirituality & Recovery: A Guide to Positive Living

Booth, Father Leo

1

Bradshaw on: The Family

Bradshaw, John

1

Family Secrets

Bradshaw, John

1

Jul-99

Breaking Free

Branden, Nathaniel

1

Feeling Good : The New Mood Therapy

Burns, David D

1

Sep,98

Feeling Good Handbook, The

Burns, David D

1

Jan.99

Self Assertion for Women

Butler, Pamela E

1

Index

Recovery of your Inner Child

Capacchione, Lucia

2

Reflecting Pond, The

Caroles, Liane

1

Anger Workbook, The

Carter, Dr Les & Minirth, Dr Frank

missing

A Time to Heal Workbook

Cermak, Timmen L & Rutzky, Jacques

missing

Looking Good: Illusion & Reality

Clark, Ann D

1

First Things First

Covey, Stephen R

missing

Index

Allies in Healing

Davis, Laura

1

Secrets about Men every Woman should Know

de Angelis, Barbara

1

Making Changes

Dean, Amy E

1

A Woman in your own right

Dickson, Anne

1

Getting them Sober: Vol I

Drews, Toby Rice

1

Getting them Sober: Vol. II

Drews, Toby Rice

1

Your Erroneous Zones

Dyer, Dr. Wayne

missing

Index

Verbally Abusive Relationship, The

Evans, Patricia

1

Index

Adult Children of Abusive Parents

Farmer, Steven

missing

Toxic Parents

Forward, Dr Susan

1

Burnt: A Teenage Addicts Road to Recovery

Fraser, Craig & Sullivan, Deidre

1

An Adult Childs Guide to What's Normal

Friel, John & Friel, Linda

1

12 Steps for Adult Children, The

Friends in Recovery

missing

12 Steps, The: A Way Out

Friends in Recovery

1

Index

Outgrowing the Pain Together

Gil, Eliane

1

Emotional Intelligence

Goleman, Daniel

1

I'm Dancing as Fast as I can

Gordon, Barbara

1

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Gray, John

1

Letting Go and loving life

Greenwood, Carmel

1

Index

Self Esteem: Tools for Recovery

Hall & Cohen

1

Easy Does It

Hallinan, P K

C

I'm Thankful for Each Day

Hallinan, P K

C

My Very Best Rainy Days

Hallinan, P K

C

One Day at a Time

Hallinan, P K

C

Against The Wall - Man's Reality in a Codependent Culture

Hardy, Marshall & Hough, John

1

You Can Heal Your Life

Hay, Louise L

1

Smart Love

Hayes, Jody

1

Stairway to Serenity

Hazelden

1

Twenty Four Hours a Day

Hazelden

1

Listen to the Hunger

Hazelden

1

Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters

Hazelden Meditation Series

missing

Solving the Self Esteem Puzzle

Hazelton, Deborah M

1

Alcoholism - A Family Matter

Health Communications

1

Changing Legacies

Health Communications

1

Exploring the Road Less Travelled: a Study Guide

Howard, Alice & Walden

2

Index

Listen to Me

Jampolsky, G & Jampolsky, Lee

1

A Family is a Circle of People who Love You

Jasinek, Doris & Ryan, Pamela Bell

1

Falling in Fun Again

Jasinek, Doris & Ryan, Pamela Bell

1

Feel the Fear

Jeffers, Susan

1

Brothers & Sisters

Johnson, Barbara L

1

Intervention - how to help someone who doesn't want help

Johnson, Vernon E

missing

Index

Boundaries - Where you End and I Begin

Katherine, Ann

1

Credit, Cash and Codependency

Kaye, Yvonne

missing

Hug Therapy

Keating, Kathleen

1

Fire in the Belly: On being a Man

Keen, Sam

1

Broken Toys, Broken Dreams

Kellogg, Terry & Harrison, Marrel

1

12 Steps to Happiness, The

Klass, Joe

1

ACOA Syndrome, The

Kritsberg, Wayne

1

Healing Way, The: Adult Recovery from Childhood Sexual Abuse

Kunzman, Kristin A

1

Index

Love is a Hunger

Larsen, Earnie

1

Old Patterns, New Truths

Larsen, Earnie

1

Stage II Recovery: Life Beyond Addiction

Larsen, Earnie

2

Stage II Relationships: Love Beyond Addition

Larsen, Earnie

3

Flying Boy, The

Lee, John

1

Flying Boy, Vol.II

Lee, John

1

Dance of Anger, The

Lerner, Harriet Goldhor

1

Dance of Deception, The

Lerner, Harriet Goldhor

1

Dance of Intimacy, The

Lerner, Harriet Goldhor

1

Mother Dance, The: How Children Can Change Your Life

Lerner, Harriet PhD

1

Providing Care for Children of Alcoholics

Lewis, David C & Williams, Carol N

1

Index

Cat at the Door, The

Maltre, Ann D & Weldon, Louise B

C

Addiction & Grace

May, Gerald G

1

Children of Trauma

Maz, Jane Middleton

missing

Victims No More

McCabe, Thomas R

missing

A Workbook for Healing; ACOA

McConnell, Patty

1

Feeding the Empty Heart

Mcfarland, Barbara & Bauman, Tyeis Baker

1

12 Step Story Booklets - set of 12

Mckee, Mary M

1

Do It! Lets Get off our Butts

McWilliams, John-Roger & Peter

2

Life 101

McWilliams, Peter

1

Love 101

McWilliams, Peter

missing

You Cannot Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought

McWilliams, Peter

2

Facing Codependence

Mellody, Pia

1

Facing Love Addiction

Mellody, Pia

missing

Family Business

Melton, Carol S

1

Drama of Being a Child

Miller, Alice

1

Drama of the Gifted Child, The

Miller, Alice

missing

For your own good: Hidden cruelty in child rearing

Miller, Alice

1

Addictive Relationships - Reclaiming Your Boundaries

Miller, Joy

1

Following the Yellow Brick Road

Miller, Joy & Ripper, Marianne

1

Recovery Book, The

Mooney, Al J & Eisenberg, Arlene & Howard

1

Index

Addictive Personality, The - Roots, Rituals & Recovery

Nakken, Craig

1

Doormat Syndrome, The

Namka, Lynne

1

Getting Through the Day

Napier, Nancy J

1

You can be Free

Nicarthy, Ginny & Davidson, Sue

missing

Letters From Women Who Love Too Much

Norwood, Robin

1

Women Who Love Too Much

Norwood, Robin

1

Index

Dealing with Depression in 12 Step Recovery

O, Jack

1

12 Steps to Self Parenting

Oliver-Diaz, Philip & O'Gorman, Patricia A

1

Finding our Fathers

Osherson, Samuel

1

Index

If I'm so wonderful, why am I still single?

Page, Susan

1

Addiction to Love

Peabody, Susan

1

A World Awaiting to be Born

Peck, M Scott

1

Further along the Road Less Travelled

Peck, M Scott

1

In Search of Stones:A Pilgrimage of Faith, Reason & Discovery

Peck, M Scott

1

Meditations from the Road

Peck, M Scott

1

Road Less Travelled, The

Peck, M Scott

2

Dancing with Daddy

Petersen, Betsy

1

Self Parenting

Pollard, John K

1

Letting go of Shame

Potter-Efron, Ronald & Potter-Efron, Patricia

1

A Time to Begin

Presnell, Lewis F

1

Search for Serenity, The

Presnell, Lewis F

1

Index

Behind the Veil of Silence:Family Violence and Alcohol Abuse

Rainbolt, Beverly & Green, Michael

1

Messages from Anna

Rankin, Zoe

1

A Design for Growth

Ray, Veronica

1

Heal your Self Esteem: Recovery from Addictive Thinking

Robinson, Bryan

1

Work Addiction - Hidden Legacies of Adult Children

Robinson, Bryan E

1

Of Course you're Anxious

Rosellini, Gayle

1

Barriers to Intimacy

Rosellini, Gayle & Warden, Mark

2

Here comes the Sun: Dealing with Depression

Rosellini, Gayle & Warden, Mark

1

Of Course you're Angry

Rosellini, Gayle & Warden, Mark

missing

Triumph over Fear

Ross, Jerilyn

1

Breaking Free from Compulsive Eating

Roth, Geneen

1

Feeding the Hungry Heart

Roth, Geneen

1

Children in the Crossfire

Roy, Maria

1

12 Steps - A Spiritual Journey, The

RPI Publishing

missing

Index

Intimate Worlds

Scarf, Maggie

1

Co-Dependence, Misunderstood, Mistreated

Schaef, Anne Wilson

1

Escape from Intimacy

Schaef, Anne Wilson

missing

Meditations for women who do too much

Schaef, Anne Wilson

missing

Bereaved Parent, The

Schiff, Harriet Sarnoff

1

Back From Betrayal

Schneider, Jennifer P

2

How Can I Forgive

Sinton, Vera

1

Come out, Come out wherever you are

Sinykin, Sheri Cooper

C

Families & how to Survive them

Skynner, Robin & Cleese, John

1

Grandchildren of Alcoholics

Smith, Ann

1

Keeping Secrets

Somers, Suzanne

1

Codependency: How to break free and live your own life

Stafford, David & Hodgkinson, Liz

1

A Time to Grieve

Standacher, Carol

1

Lost in the Shuffle

Subby, Robert

1

Index

Inner Child Workbook, The

Taylor, Cathryn L

2

Addictive Thinking

Twerski, Abraham J

1

Index

Scream Louder

Utain, Masha & Oliver, Barbara

1

Index

Necessary Losses

Viorst, Judith

1

Are you missing the Boat to Recovery?

Vroom, George W

1

Index

12 Steps to Freedom

W, Kathleen

1

Healing a Broken Heart:12 Steps of Recovery for Adult Children

W, Kathleen

1

Growing up with my children:Reflections on less than perfect parents

Walker, Ellen

1

Another Chance:Hope & Health for the Alcoholic Family

Wegscheider, Sharon

1

Coupleship

Wegscheider-Cruse, Sharon

1

Miracle of Recovery, The

Wegscheider-Cruse, Sharon

missing

A Gift to myself

Whitfield, Charles L

missing

Boundaries and Relationships

Whitfield, Charles L

1

Copendence - Healing the Human Condition

Whitfield, Charles L

1

Healing the Child Within

Whitfield, Charles L

2

Becoming your own Parent

Wholey, Dennis

1

Fourth Step, The

Wills-Brandon, Carla

1

Healing your Sexual Self

Woititz, Janet G

1

Home away from Home: The Art of Self Sabotage

Woititz, Janet G

1

Life Skills for Adult Children

Woititz, Janet G

1

Marriage on the Rocks: Learning to live with yourself & an alcoholic

Woititz, Janet G

1

Relax, Recover

Wuerte, Patricia & May, Lucinda

1

Index

A Sceptics Guide to the 12 Steps

Z, Philip

1

Taking Back my Life

Ziegenmeyer, Nancy

1

Index

Key: 1 = number of copies in library, "missing" books may well have been returned, C = children's book

Tape Library

Click on first letter of author's surname: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.
Back to Top of page.

ACA TAPE LIBRARY - JANUARY 2000

Tape Title

Author

Master Copy

No of Copies

Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions

AA

1

1

Dear Dad

Andersen, Louie

0

2

Back to Index

Beyond Codependency

Beattie, Melody

0

missing

Codependent No More

Beattie, Melody

0

missing

To Heal Again

Berkus, Rusty

1

1

Don't Talk, Don't Feel, Don't Trust

Black, Claudia

1

1

It Will Never Happen to Me

Black, Claudia

1

2

Bradshaw - The Family

Bradshaw, John

1

1

Back to Index

Meditation

Cayce, Edgar

1

0

Back to Index

Food for Thought

Hazelden

1

1

Making Peace with the Past

Hazelden

1

missing

Back to Index

Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families

Larsen, Earnie

1

0

Days of Healing, Days of Joy

Larsen, Earnie

1

3

Finding Emotional Balance

Larsen, Earnie

1

1

For Teenagers of Alcoholics

Larsen, Earnie

1

1

The Secret of Successful Relationships

Larsen, Earnie

1

0

Stage II Recovery: Life Beyond Crisis

Larsen, Earnie

1

0

Spirituality: Faith Must Be Sought

Larsen, Earnie

1

1

The Dance of Anger

Lerner, Harriet

1

1

The Dance of Intimacy

Lerner, Harriet

1

missing

How to Meditate

LeShan, Lawrence

1

1

Back to Index

The Way We Feel Inside

Murphy, Mary Kotts

1

1

Back to Index

Women Who Love Too Much

Norwood, Robin

1

1

Back to Index

Claiming Your Higher Power

Recovery Music

0

missing

Sexuality/Symptoms of Codependents

Ruth F/Sondra S

1

2

Back to Index

Each Day a New Beginning

Sound Recovery

1

2

Self-Esteem

Sound Recovery

1

1

Back to Index

Healing the Child Within

Whitfield, Charles L

1

1

Back to Index

Key: 1 = number of copies in Library.  "missing" tapes may well have been returned.

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The Problem

Many of us found that we had several characteristics in common as a result of being brought up in an alcoholic or other dysfunctional households.

We had come to feel isolated, and uneasy with other people, especially authority figures. To protect ourselves, we became people pleasers, even though we lost our own identities in the process. All the same we would mistake any personal criticism as a threat.

We either became alcoholics ourselves, married them, or both. Failing that, we found other compulsive personalities, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick need for abandonment.

We lived live from the standpoint of victims. Having an over developed sense of responsibility, we preferred to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. We got guilt feelings when we trusted ourselves, giving in to others. We became reactors rather than actors, letting others take the initiative.

We were dependent personalities, terrified of abandonment, willing to do almost anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to be abandoned emotionally. We keep choosing insecure relationships because they matched our childhood relationship with alcoholic or dysfunctional parents.

These symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism or other dysfunction made us 'co-victims' , those who take on the characteristics of the disease without necessarily ever taking a drink. We learned to keep our feelings down as children and keep them buried as adults. As a result of this conditioning, we often confused love with pity, tending to love those we could rescue.

Even more self-defeating, we became addicted to excitement in all our affairs, preferring constant upset to workable solutions.

This is a description, not an indictment

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The Solution

The solution is to become your own loving parent.

As ACA becomes a safe place for you, you will find freedom to express all the hurts and fears that you have keep inside and to free yourself from the shame and blame that are carry-overs from the past. You will become an adult who is imprisoned no longer by childhood reactions. You will recover the child within you, learning to love and accept yourself.

The healing begins when we risk moving out of isolation. Feelings and buried memories will return. By gradually releasing the burden of unexpressed grief, we slowly move out of the past. We learn to re-parent ourselves with gentleness, humour, love and respect.

This process allows us to see our biological parents as the instruments of our existence. Our actual parent is a Higher Power whom some of us choose to call God. Although we had alcoholic or dysfunctional parents, our Higher Power gave us the Twelve Steps of Recovery.

This is the action and work that heals us: we use the Steps; we use the meetings; we use the telephone; we use the e-mail. We share our experience, strength, and hope with each other. We learn to restructure our sick thinking one day at a time. When we release our parents from responsibility for our actions today, we become free to make healthful decisions as actors, not reactors. We progress from hurting, to healing, to helping. We awaken to a sense of wholeness we never knew was possible.

By attending these meetings on a regular basis, you will come to see parental alcoholism or family dysfunction for what it is: a disease that infected you as a child and continues to affect you as an adult. You will learn to keep the focus on yourself in the here and now. You will take responsibility for your own life and supply your own parenting.

You will not do this alone. Look around you and you will see others who know how you feel. We love and encourage you no matter what. We ask you accept us just as we accept you.

This is a spiritual program based on action coming from love. We are sure that as the love grows inside you, you will see beautiful changes in all your relationships, especially with your Higher Power, yourself, and your parents.

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The Twelve Steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to our selves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry it out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others who still suffer, and to practise these principles in all
our affairs.

The Twelve Steps are reprinted and adapted from the original Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and are used with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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The Twelve Promises

The ACA Promises


1. We will discover our real idenities by loving and accepting ourselves.

2. Our self-esteem will increase as we give ourselves approval on a daily basis.

3. Fear of authority figures and the need to "people-please" will leave us.

4. Our ability to share intimacy will grow inside us.

5. As we face our abandonment issues, we will be attracted by strengths and become more tolerant of weaknesses.

6. We will enjoy feeling stable, peaceful, and financially secure.

7. We will learn how to play and have fun in our lives.

8. We will chose to love people who can love and be responsible for themselves.

9. Healthy boundaries and limits will become easier for us to set.

10. Fears of failures and success will leave us, as we intuitively make healthier choices.

11. With help from our ACA support group, we will slowly release our dysfunctional behaviours.

12. Gradually, with our Higher Power's help, we learn to expect the best and get it.

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not forget the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and out-look upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, pp 83-84

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The Twelve Traditions

1. Our common welfare should come first, personal recovery depends on ACA unity.

2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority -  a loving God as expressed in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants, they do not govern.

3. The only requirement for membership in ACA is a desire to recover from the effects of growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional family.

4. Each group is autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or ACA as a whole. We cooperate with all other 12-Step programs.

5. Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry its message to the adult child who still suffers.

6. An ACA group ought never endorse, finance or lend the ACA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.

7. Every ACA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

8. Adult Children Anonymous should remain forever non-professional, but our service centres may employ special workers.

9. ACA, as such, ought never be organized, but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

10. Adult Children Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the ACA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, T.V. and films.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

The Twelve Traditions are reprinted and adapted from the original Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous and are used with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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The Serenity prayer

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

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